Before delving into the darker side of jealousy, it is important to establish that jealousy is a normal emotion which we all feel from time to time. It can even be healthy to some extent in a relationship. It would be a bit worrisome if one’s partner did not feel jealous once in a while. Feelings of jealousy are typically due to the presence of a rival vying for a partner’s attentions. If an individual is able to spot this and express feelings of jealousy, this may eliminate the threat to the relationship, with the partner perhaps being more cautious around the so-called rival. Therefore, jealousy evolved so we can sense when our relationship is threatened and do something about it. This keeps our partner, ours. When this is taken too far, however, problems ensue.
Morbid jealousy describes jealousy which has been taken to dangerous extremes. Aspects of morbid jealousy syndrome include irrational thought patterns and emotions, acting in extreme even dangerous ways to eliminate the threat and maintaining the belief that one’s partner is unfaithful but having little or no evidence to support this. People with normal levels of jealousy only feel jealous when presented with relatively clear proof. If accusations are unfounded, they will drop their claims. People with morbid jealousy, however, create the evidence in their minds with no reference to reality. If confronted with contradictory evidence, they will remain adamant about the idea that their partner is having some sort of affair.
“Jealousy is not only inbred in human nature, but it is the most basic, all-pervasive emotion which touches man in all aspects of every human relationship,”
Boris Sokoloff
It is rare to find morbid jealousy in its pure form. It is usually found in combination with an underlying mental disorder. People with paranoid personality or borderline disorder are more susceptible to morbid jealousy. Also people with an insecure attachment style are more prone to this syndrome. They are more likely to feel inadequate, insecure and inferior which may promote morbid jealousy. Drug and alcohol abuse are common among people with morbid jealousy. Although these are not the causes of the jealousy, substance abuse could exacerbate the syndrome as well as symptoms.
Many suffering from this syndrome realize that their feelings of betrayal are unfounded and yet cannot free themselves from the intrusive barrage of thoughts relating to their partners infidelity. Their behaviours, such as checking pockets, emails, drawers, bed linen, medicines etc. of their partner become compulsive. Stalking or hiring a private detective are also common things people with morbid jealousy do.
People with morbid jealousy are a risk to themselves and to others, especially their partner. Depression and anxiety are likely to accompany morbid jealousy, as well as suicidal ideation and self-harming behaviours. Also those suffering morbid jealousy may use violence against a partner in order to extract a confession of unfaithfulness. When taken to extremes, homicide is a potential outcome.
It is clear that people with morbid jealousy are a dangerous threat. Hospitalization may be required for the morbidly jealous individual. Medication and psychotherapy are also necessary. Couples therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) are effective, especially if the individual has constant obsessions of their partner cheating. Therapists who are CBT oriented draw attention to faulty and irrational thinking. They try to replace these thoughts with more rational and realistic ones. While this may help, people with morbid jealousy tend to relapse into their previous delusional state if not being monitored constantly. It is also essential to realize and treat the underlying mental disorder. Overall, early identification, treatment and constant vigilance are key to helping those who suffer the delusions, obsessions and irrationalities of morbid jealousy.
References:
Kingham, M., & Gordan, H. (2004). Aspects of morbid jealousy. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 10, 207-215. doi 10.1192/apt.10.3.207
Image credit: Stop Jealousy. (n.d.) Retrieved June 23, 2013, from http://www.stopjealousy.com/how-to-stop-worrying-about-him-cheating/
